7 essential questions you should ask yourself if you are considering whether you should see each other again after the first date
Is your first little coffee-date the beginning of a new and wonderful relationship, or should you just say thanks for now and move on? If you aren't quite sure yourself, we suggest you take your time and think about it before answering these 7 questions.
Sarah Johnson
Author
1. How was your first eye contact?
You've been texting together, and now you're finally getting to see each other. And just before your date, you've both felt a bit out of your comfort zone, right? Nervousness can make people seem insecure and, consequently, less attractive. But how did that first eye contact feel? Did it make you smile from ear to ear, or did you have an urge to bite your lip? Was he or she exactly as you imagined, or were you caught off guard? And, generally speaking, was it good or bad?
2. Did your conversation flow easily?
Good or bad chemistry between two people is a bit undefined feeling that can be tough to explain. Sometimes, with some people we meet, we "click" right away, while other times we just distance ourselves. And those sympathies or antipathies are not always possible to explain. How did you feel on your first date? Did it feel like a smooth, flawless conversation, or did you have to rack your brain to come up with something to say? And did you feel like listening at all?
3. Did you make any physical contact with each other?
Physical attraction is hardly controllable so, when it's there, it can be nearly impossible to resist this urge to touch each other. And those "accidental" contacts - a hand over a hand, or a touch on a shoulder - they are all a part of a good flirt. If you didn't feel like making any of these contacts with your date at all and didn't even try to imagine what it would be like to kiss him or her, well, that says quite a lot, don't you think? On the other hand, if you regretted missing a chance to get closer while you were on a date, then you might wanna consider seeing him or her again.
4. Did you laugh together?
You've got to know each other through your profiles and stuff you've written while you've been texting each other. But did it live up the expectations? Were there any similarities in your interests, values, and attitudes? And now, the really important question: Did you laugh together? Physical attraction is rarely long-lasting if you are not on the same page when it comes to humor and other important points of view.
“Blindness sometimes tends to overshadow reasons.”
5. Long way of compromise?
Ok, so your date looks absolutely stunning and your first meeting went really well, but is it enough to make you jump right into it? Well, I guess so... But try to remember that you will be unhappy if you decide to get into this, and then he or she plans to study in Brazil while you have a good job in Randers... Blindness sometimes tends to overshadow reasons. And if you, for example, dream about starting a family and your date doesn't wanna have any (more) children, that's also quite challenging from the start. A relationship does run on a path of compromise, but if they are too big and too many, it will surely be a short trip.
6. Did you lose track of time?
Time goes by so fast? Well, that's an undeniably good sign of a successful date. If you've suddenly found out that the time you had set aside for this date had expired long since, if you had to prolong your parking or postpone the scheduled train home - then you've obviously enjoyed each other's company. And was the listening-talking balance about equal? Having as much desire to hear about each other besides talking is a crystal clear indicator that there might be something going on here.
7. An overflowing sense of joy?
Did it feel like walking or flying back home after your date? Did you feel like whistling? Did you smile at the people passing by, or you didn't even care? And what about the day after? Did your date fill up your consciousness, or you didn't even think of him or her at all? Cos sometimes, it takes much more than the same interests and attitudes. They might be enough for a good friendship, but for a relationship, there must be a spark. And if you felt that overflowing sense of joy after the date, then what are you waiting for?